If I were to ask you what the most important factor is in getting the body you want, what would you say? Most of us might say that it’s something along the lines of caloric intake, amount of protein consumed, or the type and volume of training you’re doing. But are those things truly the most important factors?
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in life is that most, if not all, of my suffering or unhappiness has been of my own making. Yes, shitty things happen. Yes, people can be shitty or downright abusive to us. Yes, we all carry emotional baggage, have tender pain points, and struggle in one way or another. It’s all part of the human condition.
But what can happen over time is that somewhere along the line, buried underneath our experiences, our narrative gets out of whack. And somehow, no matter how shitty the story becomes, we buy into that narrative. At that point, we start to base our actions on flawed beliefs which, more often than not, only serve to confirm the narrative.
A few examples off the top of my head are:
- The belief that you’re stuck, that you can’t change, or that because you’ve failed in the past that you’re doomed to repeat that failure.
- The belief that fat loss is not a choice, but that it’s a chore or a punishment. It’s something being done to you. You’re at the mercy of something you don’t want to do.
- The belief that something is being taken away from you or that you’re being deprived. That you’re losing something rather than gaining something.
- The belief that you’re powerless to remain in your situation, that everyone is hurting you, that your body has betrayed you, and that you’re a victim.
These are powerful beliefs that will shape your behavior. And quite frankly, all of them are bullshit. You see, if you’re basing your behavior on a flawed belief system, you better believe you’re going to want to give up, act out, or suffer.
On the other hand, if you rewrite the narrative just a little, it changes things dramatically. When I say that, I don’t mean to imply that you can simply harness the power of positive thinking and tap your heels until everything feels easy. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.
But remember that just because something is hard doesn’t mean that it must always lead to suffering. The suffering is far more likely to be related to what you tell yourself about the process, rather than to the actual process itself. Pain is a constant, but suffering is optional.
So no, this stuff isn’t always easy. But remember that you’re not a victim. You have choice. You’re making the choice. You’re not being forced into anything; rather, you’re choosing to do something because the result is important to you.
So now with the understanding that the pen is in your hand: what kind of story will you write?